when insults had class!

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words .

The famous exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, ‘If you were my husband I’d give you poison.’ He said, ‘If you were my wife, I’d drink it.’

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: ‘Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.’ ‘That depends, Sir,’ said Disraeli, ‘whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.’

‘He had delusions of adequacy.’ – Walter Kerr

‘He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.’ – Winston Churchill

‘I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.’ Clarence Darrow

‘He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.’ – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

‘Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.’ – Moses Hadas

‘I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.’ – Mark Twain

‘He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.’ – Oscar Wilde

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill ‘I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.’ –Winston Churchill, in response – ‘Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… if there is one.’

‘I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.’ – Stephen Bishop

‘He is a self-made man and worships his creator.’ – John Bright

‘I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.’ – Irvin S. Cobb

‘He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.’ – Samuel Johnson

‘He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.’ – Paul Keating

‘In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.’ – Charles, Count Talleyrand

‘He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.’ – Forrest Tucker

‘Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?’ – Mark Twain

‘His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.’ – Mae West

‘Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.’ – Oscar Wilde

‘He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.’ – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

‘He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.’ – Billy Wilder

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