Tombstone Humor

Dr. Weeks’ Comment:  

Question #1: Is there life after death?

Answer:  Unanswerable.  

Question #2: Is humor eternal?  

Answer: Yes!  

Enjoy!

 

ACTUAL TOMBSTONE EPITAPHS

 

Edsel Smith of  Albany, New York:

Born 1903–Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the

car was on the way down. It was.

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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all  dressed up

and  no  place to go.

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In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid

but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

 

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In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna  Wallace

The children of  Israel wanted  bread,

and  the Lord sent them manna.

Clark  Wallace  wanted a wife,

and the Devil sent him Anna.

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In a Ruidoso,  New Mexico,  cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast.

Pardon him  for not rising.

 

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In a Uniontown,  Pennsylvania,  cemetery:

Here lies the body of  Jonathan Blake,

stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

 

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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid, we planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw.

 

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A lawyer’s epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer,  and that is Strange.

 

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John Penny’s epitaph in  the Wimborne,

England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

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In a cemetery in  Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went  out of tune.

 

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Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls ,

Vermont:

Here lies the body of our Anna,

done to death by a banana.

It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,

but the skin of the thing that made her go.

 

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On a grave from the 1880s  in Nantucket,

Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there’s only the pod,

Pease shelled out and went to God.

 

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In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,

as you are now, so once was I.

As I am now, so shall you be,

remember this and follow me.

 

To which someone replied  by writing on the  tombstone:

“To follow you I’ll not consent, until I know which way you went.”

 

and Dr. Weeks’ favorite….

 

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in

East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova  Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.

Only the good die young.

 

 

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