Tombstone Humor

Dr. Weeks’ Comment:  

Question #1: Is there life after death?

Answer:  Unanswerable.  

Question #2: Is humor eternal?  

Answer: Yes!  





Edsel Smith of  Albany, New York:

Born 1903–Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the

car was on the way down. It was.


In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, all  dressed up

and  no  place to go.




In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid

but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767



In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna  Wallace

The children of  Israel wanted  bread,

and  the Lord sent them manna.

Clark  Wallace  wanted a wife,

and the Devil sent him Anna.


In a Ruidoso,  New Mexico,  cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast.

Pardon him  for not rising.




In a Uniontown,  Pennsylvania,  cemetery:

Here lies the body of  Jonathan Blake,

stepped on the gas instead of the brake.




In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid, we planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw.




A lawyer’s epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer,  and that is Strange.




John Penny’s epitaph in  the Wimborne,

England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,

dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.


In a cemetery in  Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went  out of tune.




Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls ,


Here lies the body of our Anna,

done to death by a banana.

It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,

but the skin of the thing that made her go.




On a grave from the 1880s  in Nantucket,


Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there’s only the pod,

Pease shelled out and went to God.




In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,

as you are now, so once was I.

As I am now, so shall you be,

remember this and follow me.


To which someone replied  by writing on the  tombstone:

“To follow you I’ll not consent, until I know which way you went.”


and Dr. Weeks’ favorite….


On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in

East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova  Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.

Only the good die young.







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