Dr. Weeks’ Comment:
Question #1: Is there life after death?
Answer: Unanswerable.
Question #2: Is humor eternal?
Answer: Yes!
Enjoy!
ACTUAL TOMBSTONE EPITAPHS
Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903–Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.
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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up
and no place to go.
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In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid
but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
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In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread,
and the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
and the Devil sent him Anna.
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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon him for not rising.
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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid, we planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw.
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A lawyer’s epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.
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John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne,
England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
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In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
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Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls ,
Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna,
done to death by a banana.
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low,
but the skin of the thing that made her go.
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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket,
Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there’s only the pod,
Pease shelled out and went to God.
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In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
as you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be,
remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
“To follow you I’ll not consent, until I know which way you went.”
and Dr. Weeks’ favorite….
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the good die young.
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